I’m on the verge of completing the 20th year of my life. Two decades of my existence have past… or has it? (furtively raising one eyebrow) No no, that will be the topic for some other time.

Back on track, what has it all come down to?
Do I have some sort of goal? I think not…
Is ‘childhood’ over already? If so, did I dose off during the ending?
Am I finally ready to face the world? The world, which society, family and media have been molding me to embark. There has to be more. A lot more to be learnt. Right? 20 years has done enough. It has made me me.

Daddy always says that I’m the most spoilt of the three. He also says that I’ve been disciplined the most. I like being daddy’s little girl. Always being asked what I want, “New clothes? Jewellery? Shoes? Ok, how about a car?” He’s totally lucky I’m not really the shopping kind.
I guess some things will never change. Tee hee…

So my birthday’s coming…ho hum. My birthday doesn’t interest me really. Big deal, I was born, I’m turning a year older. I guess it used to excite me a long time ago. Back when we got to wear ‘coloured clothes’ to school on our birthdays, bring bags and bags of sweets to distribute to everyone; friends, enemies, strangers, all were one to you, wishing and treating you with importance on ‘your’ day. We got to pick our one special best friend to accompany us on the grand ceremony of distributing sweets to the other teachers and friends in school, while everyone else looked at them in jealousy, and begged you with pleading eyes to take you along. *sigh, what a bizarre, tiresome ritual… wonder if it still exists.

I look back at that little curl-topped, wide-eyed girl, who didn’t speak to anyone till she was about 10. The only difference now is that I’m able to talk quite a lot when I’m in the mood. Being heard is another issue. First day of kindergarten, Sacred Heart School, Bahrain, clutching my pink Minnie Mouse bag, I’m dumped on a green, wooden chair, staring at multicoloured chunks of smelly modeling clay. Sitting next to me on a red wooden chair, is the chubbiest boy I’d ever seen (who I much later find out is called Sahil), with the chubbiest hands ever, holding on tightly to the chubbiest crayons in the world.

So yes, I’ve come far from the imaginary, dress-up, Barbie-doll games, and also through the awkward and embarrassed, geeky-looking-braces-on-teeth, lanky adolescent stage…*thankfully. And managed to make it through the amazingly wonderful and glorious years after that.

Insignificant and random things still amuse me. My loves include flowers, earrings, movies, nail polish, coffee and music. I have an infatuation for Mickey Mouse, Batman, Winnie the pooh and Johnny Depp. I don’t care much for the rain, but I love the sky. I still cry the same way; silently and heavy. I still laugh, smile, grin, and giggle the same…for almost anything. I have loved; I have been loved. I have been hurt; I have caused pain. I have danced about like a crazy person. I have embarrassed myself in public just for fun. I have prayed with utmost sincerity. I have wished, and I will always continue to thank.

Family is my priority. Music is my life. Art is my passion. Spirituality is my essence. My closest friends define aspects of my personality.

These 20 years have given me myself. There isn’t a single thing I regret doing in my life, and given the chance I would love doing it all over again. No matter how much I crib and moan about things, the journey keeps getting better.

Wow, all these reflections and stuff are making me sound pretty old…Which I’m not, by the way. This just happens to me at this time of year…plus there have been other ‘things’ happening this week.



Satisfaction. Happiness. Fortune. Bliss.