Dilu-isms

D: “ooh Jo, you look so porcelain pretty!!”
Me: “erm….Thanks I guess.”

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D: “Jo! Look, that guy is so hot! A little ugly, but still hot!”

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Me: “So I drop you to your mum’s office right? Do you know the way?”
D: “Nope. Just drive around to wherever you know and we’ll figure it out from there!”

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D: “Oh I hate traffic…I got an idea! Lift up your top, he’ll get distracted and give us way!”
Me: “Considering size, wouldn’t it be more effective if you do the lifting of your top?”
D: “Hmm…maybe. But you should do it too! Cos two is better than one. Or actually it will be four is better than one. Oh no wait… it’ll be four is better than two right? No! I got it! Two pairs are better than one pair!”
Me: “Pair of…umm…boobs?”
D: “YES!!”

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D: “Is your headache still aching?”

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D: “So what if I’m in a relationship? There is no harm in appreciating male beauty. Guys do it all the time!”

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D: “I’m the real Thomas because my grandfather was British”

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D: “Laundry is very important. It makes life smell less funky”

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D: “Oh Damn. I just told my editor I’d do a story even though I had a feeling I won’t do it”

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D: “Jo, can I be loud in here?”
Me: “Yes, as long as you don’t walk into anything”
D: “Ok!”
(2 secs later)
D: “woopppss…I just walked into that pillar”

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D: “Eww…that guy is staring at us. Let’s take his picture!”

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D: “I’ll do my exam at breakneck speed so I can go get my eyebrows done!”

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D: “I’m so used to getting arrested and jailed by now; the police just let me walk in and out. I’m a regular”

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D: “I’m so bored. The only person online is the President’s son and he’s not entertaining anymore”

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All above statements are accurate and based on true events, and were said by a real person.
Thanks to Dilu, my bestest Sheep.
I love you.

Of Rails and Ways

I don't think I've ever liked travelling. Like I've mentioned before, the whole process of packing my things up and shifting out of my comfort zone really does not appeal to me. Unless I'm really looking for a break.

I despise airplanes. Being in them, that is. Watching them fly high above when I'm safe on the ground is exciting, but being inside one of them with all those smells and suffocation is really gross. The person seating next to me, unfortunately for them, usually has to bear the brunt of my frustration. Just ask Nida.

But whatever the mode of travel, as long as Shirley is with me, I've made through it comfortably.

I love trains. The feeling of travelling by a train is unlike anything else. The gentle rocking and background chugging makes for very good thinking and reflecting atmosphere. I have realised lots of things at various points in my little life, while amidst a train journey. One of the earliest train journeys I can recall, is one I took with my family to Goa, from Bombay if I'm not mistaken. This was over 14 years ago, when I was about 7 years old. I don't think my train experience at this time was all that wonderful because the only images I can recollect are from the Bombay station, which was dark, smelly and scary. And the train which was also dark, smelly and scary. I found the chai seller on the train to be very amusing though, because all the change he handed back to us was drenched and soaked in milk and tea so that it didnt really look like currency anymore. We let him keep the change...

One of my favourite things about staying in London, has obviously been the ease at which anyone can get from place to place. The underground subway metro system was so much fun during each of my visits. Hopping from one train to another, looking at the maps, trying to figure out each of the coloured codes assigned for each line was such an adventure. One train adventure I'll always remember is the Eurostar, the train from England to France, which went under-water through The Channel Tunnel, and then emerged onto the sheep-filled fields of Northern France, half an hour later. When travelling in Europe, I think everyone should remember that the trains and tubes are always on time. To the minute! A not-so-nice experience was when we got pick-pocketed on a subway train in Italy...

Before I moved here, I used to find travelling alone in this country absolutely frightening. I'm so lame that my first ever time in a public bus was from Mangalore to Manipal about two years ago. Last year I managed to travel to Kannur with my friends, which I consider as my first ever Indian train journey, because I was either too young, or too fussy, to remember any of the previous ones. The excitement was exhilarating, and taking in the different sounds, tastes and smells from the rickety window made me appreciate my life even more. Don't ask me why, it just happens.

Last semester, on my second trip to Cochin, we got to see a drunk man get bitch-slapped ten centimetres away from my face, for trying to 'get it on' with us while we were sleeping. Needless to say, I stayed wide-awake for the remaining five hours of the trip.

Three weeks ago, we went to Goa. The journey was complete with free on-coach entertainment from ''The Professor of Majeek, all the way from Tamil Nadu, The Great Deva!'' (this has to be said in a very strong and loud Tamilian accent). This strange man, with even stranger teeth, practically forced Surbhi to take a picture of him, and then performed one of the 'greatest', and creepiest, magic trick we'd ever seen. He took a 500-rupee note, set it on fire and then ate it. It was a lot grosser than it sounds. He then started to make these sickly barfing sounds, stuffed his hand down his throat and brought the note back out again. The silence which followed was broken after 10 very, very long seconds. The ''magician's'' side-kick starts clapping, or rather clabbing and forces all of us to "CLAB!" and hoot for the brilliant performance. So that was a brilliant start to our trip.

Our journey back from Goa too, had it's own entertainment. Thanks to Kavya, but that's another story.

So anyway, trains rock. I hope I get lots more rail adventures before I leave by next year. I also hope that I never have to face an adventure while flying.