Dilu-isms

D: “ooh Jo, you look so porcelain pretty!!”
Me: “erm….Thanks I guess.”

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D: “Jo! Look, that guy is so hot! A little ugly, but still hot!”

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Me: “So I drop you to your mum’s office right? Do you know the way?”
D: “Nope. Just drive around to wherever you know and we’ll figure it out from there!”

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D: “Oh I hate traffic…I got an idea! Lift up your top, he’ll get distracted and give us way!”
Me: “Considering size, wouldn’t it be more effective if you do the lifting of your top?”
D: “Hmm…maybe. But you should do it too! Cos two is better than one. Or actually it will be four is better than one. Oh no wait… it’ll be four is better than two right? No! I got it! Two pairs are better than one pair!”
Me: “Pair of…umm…boobs?”
D: “YES!!”

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D: “Is your headache still aching?”

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D: “So what if I’m in a relationship? There is no harm in appreciating male beauty. Guys do it all the time!”

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D: “I’m the real Thomas because my grandfather was British”

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D: “Laundry is very important. It makes life smell less funky”

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D: “Oh Damn. I just told my editor I’d do a story even though I had a feeling I won’t do it”

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D: “Jo, can I be loud in here?”
Me: “Yes, as long as you don’t walk into anything”
D: “Ok!”
(2 secs later)
D: “woopppss…I just walked into that pillar”

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D: “Eww…that guy is staring at us. Let’s take his picture!”

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D: “I’ll do my exam at breakneck speed so I can go get my eyebrows done!”

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D: “I’m so used to getting arrested and jailed by now; the police just let me walk in and out. I’m a regular”

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D: “I’m so bored. The only person online is the President’s son and he’s not entertaining anymore”

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All above statements are accurate and based on true events, and were said by a real person.
Thanks to Dilu, my bestest Sheep.
I love you.